My Pipe Dream

Monday, February 27, 2012 7:28 AM Posted by Dana Elmendorf 8 comments
It's a silly notion, but I'd like to own a YA Used Book Store and Indie Music Selling Coffee Shop. (Say that real fast three times.) Yeah I know....good luck with that, right?  Why a YA book store, because there isn't any real good places around here to buy YA books used.  And our library is awesome but doesn't even have a YA section. Finding YA books in our library is like finding a needle in a haystack. Writing or becoming an author is what I WANT to do but I can have a pipe dream on the side, can't I?



I've thought it out a bit.  I have it all figured out.  I'd travel around to all the Indie bookstores, get a feel for how they operated. And I'd visit every urban/bohemian/chic coffee shop I could.  Once I was well versed in all things bohemian chic, I'd find the perfect space.  It would be a small urban looking space with walls and walls of JUST YA books. Eclectic books shelves with the random odd item here and there.


I'd sell mostly used books but I'd have a few new as well, ALL YA.  I'd serve coffee and have funky seating.  Maybe rent a space near the local high school so hopefully teens would hang after school.  My indie music would blare over the store. I'd have a wall featuring local teens artwork.  I'd host YA book signings and swag parties ALL the time.  Have writing classes geared toward YA writers in the evenings.  YA critique groups would gather at my store for their meetings.  Wouldn't that be awesome!



But it's just a pipe dream.  Because let's be honest, it would take like 99% of my time and when would I write?

But other people have day jobs.
And yes it would take time to build my YA Used Book Store and Indie Music Selling Coffee Shop (will definitely have to find a more suitable name) to a profitable, well oiled machine but it's possible.  And just think of what it could become...


Who knows.  If I get a wild hair, I might go for it.  
What's your pipe dream?

(Click photos for source.) 

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Sunday Downloads - The White Buffalo

Sunday, February 26, 2012 9:26 AM Posted by Dana Elmendorf 2 comments
The White Buffalo  Americana with a throwback to the old country.  It's a style of music that gets back to the roots of country that modern country has strayed from.  With the sounds of Johnny Cash and Merle Haggard and Willie Nelson, now that's the country I grew up loving.  The emotion in Jake Smith's voice and lyrics really tugs at my heartstrings.  It's a sad reality of a man's life and his relationship with his mother, father and country.  I wonder if this is his story.




Lyrics "Wish It Was True"

Mother, I tried to do right by you.
Do what you asked me to.
I did wrong and I knew.
Mother, I tried to behave for you.
Now I'm a digging a grave for you.
And it was all I could do.

Find the way back home,
And make everything new.
I wish it was true.

Father, well I gave my soul to you.
I came in blindfolded for you.
It was all that I knew.
Open your arms and I'll fly out of hell up to you.
I wish it was true.

Boy, come on out from the cold.
You're lost outside, there don't you know.
It's not what you say, it's what you do.
Just keep wishing your wishes are true.
Well your dreams there a reality, ya.
There's no pain.
There's no misery.
Just polish the blood and the bruise.
There's just no way you can loose.
Well, I wish it was true.

Country, I was a soldier to you.
I did what you asked me to.
It was wrong and you knew.
Country, now I'm just a stranger to you.
A number, a name; it's true.
Throw me away when you're through.
Home of the brave and the free; the red, white and blue.
I wish it was true.

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“Girls can do anything boys can... except be well-written characters.”


Did that piss you off as much as it did me?  The other day I was creating bios for my characters and researched something to the effect of “well written characters” and I came across this article titled “Girls can do anything boys can... except be well-written characters.”

Well, needless to say, the title alone pissed me off and I clickety-clicked the link to find out what this idiot had to say. There were pages and pages to this conversation, between people who spoke from authoritative and condescending platforms, regarding their opinions on the lack of well-written female characters… in cartoons.   Mind you, it took me a few comments into the conversation to realize they were talking about cartoons but for a second there, my blood was boiling.

My first instinct was to disregard the conversation as crap because it was about cartoon characters.  But who am I to dismiss it because I think it’s flippant.  There are a lot of people who think YA or romance novels are flippant.  (Apparently I like the word flippant today.)   

But it got me to wondering, is that statement true for books? Most specifically YA because that’s what I enjoy reading.  Upon delving into the great-female-cartoon-protagonist debate, I quickly found the author of the post really didn’t have a leg to stand on.  Though they whined and complained about the quality of well-written female cartoon characters, not once did they offer an example of what they would consider a well-written female cartoon character should be like.  When other people gave their examples contrary to the statement, the author of the post immediately shot them down with nonsensical replies either damning girls for being girls or damning them for being like boys.  Well what the hell else can they be?

A well-written character is one that is true to their nature.  They are shaped by their environment, choices, and DNA and your character should stay true to who they are.  Whether they are overly girlie, clumsy, rough around the edges or snarky, they can’t help but be themselves.  We’ve seen it in our own manuscripts when a character isn’t well written.  They say or do something that doesn’t quite feel right, setting off our editing alarms.  BECAUSE they were acting out of character!  And the only time our characters should act out of character, is if something is actually seriously wrong.  (Yes I used two adverbs side by side, get over it.) Just because Kim Possible is perfect and can kick ass doesn’t make her poorly written.  Even Kim’s over confident ego gets her in trouble and Ron Stoppable ends up clumsily saving her butt.  Male or female, well-written characters are true to themselves no matter the situation.  Doesn’t mean they can’t grow, they just do it with their own flavor of personality.

What do think makes a well-written character?

In case you are curious, here’s the article I read.  It will give you a headache reading through the aristocracy.  And also, the article was written several years back.

http://www.toonzone.net/forums/showthread.php?216672-Girls-can-do-anything-boys-can-except-be-well-written-characters

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Dude, Get Your Ass Reading

Monday, February 20, 2012 8:39 AM Posted by Dana Elmendorf 8 comments

I did have the post titled "How to be a Reader in 3 Easy Steps." Upon realizing the boringness of that title, I changed it.  For most of you, telling you "how to be a reader” sounds like a dumb notion. I’d even guess most of you are not only readers, but are probably voracious readers.  Were you always?  Not me.  And there are a lot of people out there who haven’t picked up a book in years.  I bet you know quite a few non-readers out there.  Hopefully, this post will help you, help your friends to get their ass reading.

Whether you’ve always been a reader or you’ve become one in your adult years or maybe you want to be a reader, it only requires one thing…desire.

Maybe it’s the desire to learn about something new.  The desire to understand complex topics.  To improve your knowledge base.  To challenge your thinking.  To escape for a few hours.  To read dirty sex scenes in romance novels for cheap thrills. Or any combination of the above.  I don't judge.

Our brains are just like our bodies, proper nutrition and exercise makes a healthy physique.  Feed your brain and watch your mind grow, your conversations flourish and your vocabulary expand.  (And if your reading cheap sex scenes in romance novels, you might also improve your naked skills.  Just saying.) For me, it became a drug (reading, not improving my naked skills.  Though, now that I think about it....) All the benefits of a high and none of the side effects.

Here are a few steps to help you become a reader:

1. Pick a book.
Sounds like a simple concept but finding something that captures your attention can be very hard.  And for most of my non-reader friends, their first complaint is they can’t find anything interesting to read.  What type of movies/tv shows do you like?  Translate that to books.  Do you like mysteries? Self help books?  Biographies? Romance? General fiction?  Historical non-fiction? You’re not sure because it’s been so long since you’ve picked anything up?  Then ask your friends what they are reading.  Most likely if your friends with someone, you’ll have similar tastes.  Grab the NY Times Best Seller list and eni mini mini mo.  Just pick up ANYTHING to get yourself started.

2.   Take the time.
Whether it’s exercise, learning how to knit, rebuilding a car, refining your naked skills or any other hobby, if you have the desire you will find the time.  The beauty with books is that you don’t need much time.  In December 2008, I became a reader.  It all started with a little move called Twilight.  (Please no one throw up.  I love the movies and books and TOTALLY recognize them as cheesy fluff.  Moving on.) Once I found out they were books, I was hooked.  But finding the time to read became difficult because it wasn’t in my regular routine.  So each night when I went to bed, I told myself to read for 10 minutes.  Well, when you find a good book (“good” being subjective), that 10 minutes quickly became hours and I had to force myself to go to bed at 1am. 

3.  Don’t give up and don’t settle.
You picked a book, you took the time and nothing.  You're now thinking this reading shit is for the birds.  Well, you’ve picked the wrong book.  I know your neighbor’s sister’s cousin and millions of readers think Twilight is the greatest love story ever told but it makes you want to stab your eyeballs with forks.Hell, by all means, PICK A DIFFERENT BOOK!  That’s the genius of books.  There’s a genre out there, just for you!  Don’t settle for something because everyone else loves it and you feel like a total loser for not liking the latest trend.  And don’t give up on being a reader just because the first book or two or ten sucked.  With each book you read, whether you love or hate it, will help you hone in on your tastes.  Before you know it, you will be able to read the first couple of pages of a book and now instantly if you will like it or not. (For the record, you will not improve your naked skills reading twilight.  Bummer.) 

If you’re already a reader, fabulous, then share this post with someone who’s not.  You’re never too old to start reading. (Or improve your naked skills. Just saying.)

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What’s With the Big eBook Fear?

Friday, February 17, 2012 7:24 AM Posted by Dana Elmendorf 9 comments

There seems to be this big fear that eBooks are going to kill the printed book.  People act like the invention of eBook means death to books in general.  Let’s say the printed book no longer exists.  What does that mean? 

Will people stop reading?  No.
Will people stop writing?  No.
Will book stores no longer exist? No, they’ll decrease in numbers but not die off.
Will libraries no longer exist? No.  By then they will have figured out an eBook borrowing system.  Where you bring your eBook device in and virtually download your copy for two weeks.  Think of the brilliance in that!  No more waiting for someone to return the physical book.  Instant download, baby! They are probably doing that somewhere already.

During a #litchat on Twitter (a few weeks back) someone made this comment:

Won't e-books will be as disruptive to the print business as electricity was to the candle business? To (sort of) coin a phrase. 

I think the analogy is very “apples to apples.” Where once the candle was the standard for light, electricity slowly replaced it.  Are candles obsolete?  No, they are found at most stores and still have their purpose in our world.  Will they have a purpose 20 years from now?  100?  500?  Who knows but the need for light will always be there.  Just like the need for knowledge will always be there.  Books are here to stay, no matter what the form.


Does it mean authors receive less profit on eBooks?  I have no idea.  (But I'll Google it.) It probably makes editing and distribution faster. Though not everyone has an eReader, so your target audience is smaller.  I'm struggling to see the fear here.  




Personally, I love owning the physical book and displaying it on my book shelves like a trophy.  Because honestly, I’m proud of myself.  Proud to be a reader.  Because us readers, we are a rare thing.  When I tell people I read about 50 books a year, they usually reply “I haven’t read five books in my life, much less fifty.”  How sad. 

I was reading on Nathan Branford’s blog how some literary authors refuse to be on Amazon or offer their book in eBook form.  Why would you limit your sales because you particularly don’t like the technology? The notion comes off snobby and ignorant minded if you ask me.

Do I think eBooks will kill he printed book?  Not any time soon. In my opinion, not in my lifetime but maybe my children’s.  There are still people out there that who’ve never emailed! (i.e. My stepfather.)  Hell, there are tribes out there who’ve never seen a white man.  Are we seriously fretting over the death of the printed book? 

What do you think?  What are your eBook fears?

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The Pig Did It

Tuesday, February 7, 2012 5:52 PM Posted by Dana Elmendorf 7 comments
It's just not gonna happen.  Everything, anything and whatever falls between is not gonna happen.  Not today, not tomorrow and maybe not next week.

Blog posting...not gonna happen.
Query Letters going out...not gonna happen.
Giving MS one last look over...not gonna happen.
CPing for my writer friends...not gonna happen.
Me, getting to do nothing...not gonna happen.

Why you ask?  Why, Dana, this doom and gloom?  The Pig did it.


Because last week (the whole flipping week!) I'm home from NY a day and my 6yo gets Influenza A.  And yes, that is the human virus strand of swine flu.  Now I've got that little guy back at school and guess what, kid number two, my 11yo has it.  Confirmed cases by doc.  It's a quarantine zone/hospital ward here.  I'm shoveling in meds and  fluids and sanitizing every surface in the house.

I REFUSE TO GET THIS!  
Do you hear me people.  
I WILL NOT GET SICK!

You can't fit writerly things in blocks of time.  Laundry, yes.  Dishes, yes.  Writerly crap, NO!  You need quiet.  Time to think.  To focus.  You can't have your 11yo diva needing more gatorade, his tray removed, more kleenex, more meds, more crackers, more ass wiping, more more more! (Not really that last one.  He's eleven for god sakes, he's been wiping it on his own for a while.)

So much for consist blogging and propelling my career off with that NY momentum.  Gah. Okay.  I'm done.  I've got it out of my system.  THat's all people.  I'll be around when I can.  Maybe I'll drink some coffee and stay up late.  Yeah.  I think I might try to burn the midnight oil. Wish me luck peeps.

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Duh, You Don't Have to Be Gay to Attend LGBTQ Talks

Friday, February 3, 2012 9:07 AM Posted by Dana Elmendorf 6 comments


Or have a gay character in your book.
Or plan to have a gay character in your book.
And come to think of it, it's not required that you read books with gay characters before you attend the LGBTQ mixer.
(Though, I highly recommend one, if not all the above, just for personal growth.)

With a little urging from Ara and the chance to hear agent Jennifer Laughran speak again (Love her!), I went to my first LGBTQ mixer. I don't have a gay character in my book.  Nor was I planning to write about a gay character. (That is prior to this meeting.)  And come to think of it, I don't know if I've ever read a book with a gay character (maybe sidekick but can't say 100% certain.)  It's not out of protest or avoidance or [insert whatever reason here] that I have not read a book with a gay character.  It's just that I am drawn to "girl meets boy" (preferably over the summer at a beach) type of stories.  I'm heterosexual. What do you expect?  And the unfortunate part, there aren't a ton out of LGBTQ YA book options out there.

Imagine my fear when Lee Wind (El Moderator) asked everyone to put their favorite book with a gay character on their name tag. O-O  Needless to say my name tag stayed blank.  The sheer awkwardness of being the only one who didn't fit in struck me hard.  Haha! Nice isnt' it?  How life has a way of turning itself around on you.  I was sure a giant lighted arrow would drop from the ceiling and point its blinking finger at me and scream STRAIGHT WHITE GIRL IN THE ROOM!

Well, none of that happened.  (Thank god.)  But let me share with you what did.   After the editors and agent and Ellen Hopkins--did I mention she was there?  She's the author of the CRANK series.  (Haven't read her work. On my to read list now.) She's one hell of a woman.  Ballsy, bold and absolutely fantastic!  Anyway, after they chatted the floor opened up for questions/discussion.  Eventually a young woman made a comment that...well...how do I say this delicately...she ticked me off.  (Dear young woman, I am not made at you.  Your statement was generalized and I only felt the need to point that out to you.  In no way do I wish to offend you.  As to your statement, it actual stirred something wonderful inside me. So essentially, though you pissed me off, you gave life to something greater.  Thank you.)

I know, what the heck did she say already?!? She made the comment (and I'm paraphrasing) that why is it people say, "I'm not gay.  So I can't write about a gay character.  You're not a vampire either and you wrote about vampires."  Collective chuckles and grumbling agreements rumbled around the room.  And this is where my southern roots/my mother tone kicked in and I said "Let me stop you right there."

I'm cringing now, because that is my classic you're-about-to-get-a-mouthful-whether-you-like-it-or-not phrase. Thankfully, I got my point across without coming off offensive or angry (or though, I think I did.)  I simply stated that I'm a heterosexual who grew up in the south, a close-minded bible belt where negative opinions on blacks and gays abound. It took moving to California before I opened my mind.  I don't write about gay characters or people of race because I'm scared of writing them in classic stereotypical way and offending an already overly offended group(s) of people.  And what if something I wrote made it worse.

That's when Jennifer Laughran pointed her finger at me and said, "Now that's the story I want to read." She went on to to say, most gay or racial stories are set on the east and west coasts and hardly ever from the south.  Writing from that perspective, using what I experienced growing up there would be they "unique perspective" the market just doesn't have right now.  The Ellen Hopkins jumped in and said, And as far as offending, that's where CP's can help you.  Write what you know, from true experiences...from the heart.  If you do that, you won't offend them [Gays and blacks.  Others? Who knows.]

And then a seed was planted.  Inside me this seed grew from my excitement....and fear.  What if I did right that book?  What if I shared my experiences growing up and how they affected the gay people I knew and even the blacks?  I'd probably piss off a lot of people back home.  I might even shame my mother with my candid approach.  But I could also enlighten a few people.  Show them that there is more to life than the bubble they were raised in.  And what if...what if my story could open the mind of one teen.  Holy cow, that actually brings tears to my eyes thinking I could have the power to do that.

Currently I have an urban fantasy that I want to see published.  So I plan to query that puppy.  But while it's out in the world, waiting for the right agent, I will need to be working on something else.  May this, this other side of the rainbow perspective will be what I work on next.

Do you have a LGBTQ character?  What LGBTQ book do you love and think I should read?

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Editors and Why You Should Stalk Them


Sure, they know the business, trends and market but what do you really want? Them.  Because getting an editor means you’ve sold your book.

At a lot of these conferences I’ve attended, I seem to run into more editors than agents.  I guess it’s mainly because they’re not hiding. Writers usually don’t see them as a direct line to publication, therefore may or may not talk to them.  If they do, they are most likely not to suffocate the editor with their presence, like they do agents.  Having the scales tip heavy with editors instead of agents at these events used to bum me out.  But now I realize the error of my ways. 

Now let me stop you.  I know what you’re thinking, some editors take on unagented writers.  Yes, but that’s not the norm nor is it an easy window to get in.  Think of the skinny rectangle window in your shower.  Sure, you could probably squeeze your lumpy butt through, but it’ll be tight.  Like wearing your old prom dress, it’s not going to be pretty.

Jordon Brown, an editor at Balzer and Bray (imprint of Harper Collins) talked about building your team.  He said, as a writer you are a team of one.  Then you find an agent, you become a team of two. Then an editor, team of three and so on.  (Kind of like a one man wolf pack, “and it grew by one. So where we were two…so there was two of us in the pack. I…I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later.” 20 bonus points if you guess the movie.) 

Sorry for the detour. But that movie cracks me up.

Anyway...your agent will help you find an editor but wouldn’t it behoove you to do a little recon prior to needing an editor? If you could share with your agent some personal connections you’ve made with editors, you might speed up the process of finding one.  Several agents mentioned during the conference that they usually asked their clients if there’s anyone in particular they’d like to work with.  “Why yes, my dear agent, there is.” And also, getting to know these editors will give you a good idea if you could work well together. 

Does all this mean if you’ve met an editor, think you’d work well together that they will join your wolf pack?  No.  But everything you do to help yourself, will get you to your goal faster. PUB-LI-CATION.  So stalk away! (Hope that doesn’t get me banned from the pub world. :D)  Don’t go stalking all willy-nilly.  Be smart and stalk the editors who rep your type/genre of book.

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