A Squirrel Amongst Lions

Just a little quickie.

I've got lots of work to do today and only two hours to write so today I will be brief. First let me brag by saying I did 100 pull-ups in boxing class today. Wahoo! I rock!

On with writing...I love the book Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater. (Yes Void, I'm a fan of kissing) The Merry Sisters of Fate is a blog shared by a trio of authors, Maggie being one of them. Sometimes they blog randomness and sometimes they blog a short story. (Hmmm. That just game me an idea.) Brenna Yovanoff had a short story the other day that I thought was beautiful and sad at the same time. The oddness of how the young girl processes her own grief is how I would if I did not let society dictate me other wise.

So check it out: Fiction by Brenna: The Sleeping Spell

(This is her image she uses. Isn't it beautiful?)

Tag...you're it!

Wendy tagged me so now I must keep the game going. Below I answered the questions and now I will tag two other people... Catherine and Stephanie and Voidwalker – you’re it! (GwOE runs wildly away.)

1. What's the last thing you wrote? What's the first thing you wrote that you still have?

part A. Besides my blog, um…my lobotomized WIP, “Wellspring”. part B. A poem about my high school sweet heart…ahem…excuse me I think I just vomited in my mouth a little bit.

2. Write poetry?

Not that often now but I have written, a lot in the past.

3. Angsty poetry?

No, usually about love, lust, crush, maybe one or two I hate you’s but that’s it.

4. Favorite genre of writing?

YA paranormal with romance….mmmm…I’ve gotta have kissing. *muah*

5. Most annoying character you've ever created?

The MC to my second WIP. Well she starts out annoying but for good reason. She is typical teenager who thinks she’ll marry her high school sweetheart. ….ahem, I wouldn’t know what that’s like though.

6. Best Plot you've ever created?

Oh my little side baby. (GwOE rubs her hands together) I am slowly stroking it because I realllllllly want it to be a winner. There’s this girl and she meets this guy and….I’m not going to tell you but it has to do with racism, Native Americans and the spirit world.

7. Coolest Plot twist you've ever created?

My current WIP, that’s why I am working so hard to get this darn thing fixed. You know in movies when they write in the scientific specifics of why this or that happens, I LOVE when it is so well written that it not only sounds plausible but probable. I have written out the scientific “why” to my characters abilities that I love and the twist that goes with it is pretty cool. (says the girl...but who knows if you will think the same) I hope the reader will appreciate it because I put in a lot of man hours of research to perfect my explanation before I even started writing. (And it was all inspired by a scientific painting.)

8. How often do you get writer's block?

ANY time I am busy with other things. Drives me crazy! I need alone time, without distractions, to build the story in my mind and then I speed away at the computer.

9. Write fan fiction?

Um, no. I get why people do it. They are so in love with the characters and story they never want it to end. It’s a form of flattery for an author. I’ve tried to finish out in my head what happens next after a series ends and it’s kind of like finishing off someone else’s sex. Huh? Exactly. It’s just weird and all kinds of creepy wrong for me. (LOL. I can’t believe I just said that.)

10. Do you type or write by hand?

Type but I have written on paper in a pinch or to mix things up.

11. Do you save everything you write?

Yes, good or crap. I have it. You keep the crap for two reasons: so you can see where you’ve come from and you can remind yourself where NOT to go again.

12. Do you ever go back to an idea after you've abandoned it?

Sure, why not. Abandoned ideas are just those left in cold because you found a better friend to play with. When you’re bored enough you’ll come back to it eventually, minus the rose colored glasses.

13. What's your favorite thing you've ever written?

It’s a tossup. A poem I wrote in college about sadness. It’s a conversation between my brain and my heart. The other is my little dish on the side, mmmmm. My WIP#2, not the WIP itself but the four page synopsis to that WIP that flowed like liquid gold baby.

14. What's everyone else's favorite story that you've written?

I don’t share.

15. Ever written romance or angsty teen drama?

Um yes. Is there anything else? I’ve gots lots of angst and unrequited drama inside me from my "glorious" teenage years that I have got to get out. And let me tell you, it’s going to take more than one book to do it.

16. What's your favorite setting for your characters?

The rural countryside of southern Illinois. That’s where my father was raised and I love visiting there. Simple, easy going life.

17. How many writing projects are you working on right now?

Two and a half. One paranormal teen romance, one racism romance involving Native Americans and a half story about dystopia. But like every writer I have a million stories in my head dying to get out.

18. Have you ever won an award for your writing?

No, but I have never entered in a contest. I would like to I just don’t know where the contests are. Do you guys know any?

19. What are your five favorite words?

plethora (El Guapo?), salacious, smitten, reverie, fantabulous, awe, soul, lips, lips, and lips. Is that five? I can keep going. I have scraps of paper and notebooks full of random words that I have heard and just fell in love with. I could probably make my own little dictionary. Oooo, I just got an idea. I should buy a dictionary and highlight all the words I love and stop the paper madness. Nah.

20. What character have you created that is most like yourself?

My current WIP, I think that is why her voice is so quiet. Ugh.

21. Where do you get ideas for your characters?

Okay, not to sound like Stephenie Meyer but my dreams. (See next question.)

22. Do you ever write based on your dreams?

Yes, every single story is from a dream. I have always dreamed very heavily. I can smell and taste in my dreams too. I have never….I mean never….forgotten a dream I have had. I can retell a dream from my childhood so well you would think I had it last night. I dream so vividly I almost wonder if I transfer myself into an alternate dimension. It’s crazy I know.

23. Do you favor happy endings?

Yes. I get enough reality every day, give me my happy ending.

24. Are you concerned with spelling and grammar as you write?

No. Yes. Well yes but not if I’ve got the juices flowing.

25. Does music help you write?

Yes it does, it makes me feel so alive BUT…not while I am writing. Music inspires the story I am building in my head but when I write I need utter silence. I even wear ear plugs. Sometimes though, when I need to call upon a specific emotion or mood, I will play a song over and over and over again while I'm writing to help keep the scene real.

26. Quote something you've written. Whatever pops into your head.

Darrell slammed his hand into Roy’s chest and with all the calm and stillness in his voice he simply clarified, “If she so much has a mark, I will mark you twice.”

Have you ever tried to make out with a cardboard cut-out?

It ain’t pretty. And it’s awkward. You’re trying to get all close on the couch and he’s like stiff and I’m not talking in the heavy make-out way either (she raises an eyebrow). His two dimensional self is unable to sit on the couch and more like leans across it. So you fold him in half at the waist and knees to make him more comfortable. Now he’s just getting all bent out of shape. All the moves are made by you because his hands are permanently at his side, one neatly tucked in his pocket. No problem you’re an aggressive girl and you go in for a smooch. Instead of receiving a little tongue action in return you get yourself all inked up around the mouth and now your one sided boy toy has got a smeared up face and you’re asking yourself what you ever saw in him anyway.

Let’s replay the lunch scene from Twilight where Bella sees the Cullen’s for the first time. But instead of paying actors we’ll just use, um, cardboard character cut-outs.

Lunchroom Scene: Bella Meets the Cullen’s, Take 1

I see white forms walking to the door. A blonde, busty she has a permanent scowl because she’s made of cardboard and they don’t change, that’s Rosalie. (I think I will just get a permanent marker. Do a little squiggle here, a V there and viola: devil horns, brows and goatee.) Next is a wider white cardboard guy holding his arms in a gorilla fashion, that’s Emit. Then, with the help of movie crewman, a spinning cardboard cut out of Alice, permanently posed in a ballerina position, twirls around like a dancer. There is no graceful twirl but a constant never stopping spin because if you’re going to be cut-out in that pose forever you need to spin. When the crewman gets dizzy from spinning he attaches Alice’s cut-out to the top of a record player. Followed by her would be Jasper. Since he spends most of the movie looking terrified and deranged he might actually be a cardboard cut-out…hmm. Then the hottie, in black. But instead of the smooth walking cool kid that he is, you have another crewman teeter totter Edward on his cardboard cut-out feet. And he has to keep that broody look forever, no cute curled smile when he hears the girls giggle about him. Aren’t you drawn in? No, isn’t this working for you?

You see where I am going here? Probably not, I’m sure I sound like rambling bag lady but I do have a point. In efforts to clean up the beginning of my WIP and get to the story, I cut out a lot of back story and kept cutting until I cut out the personality of all my characters. I literally took the first few chapters of my manuscript and cut out cute little connected paper dolls and wrote a name on each one and called them characters. Ahuh. Yeah. I gave my characters a lobotomy.

Well now what? I played a little game with Chipmunk, my cheerleader beta. I asked her, Can you describe the personality of character X? Y? Z? Yes. A little. No, not really. (Z, aka MC) What about Q? (Q, aka MC’s mom, who has a secondary role at best.) Oh yes! Hmmm. (note the exclamation point) I took the same quiz before her and came up with the same answers.

What did I discover? In writing back story for my main character I wrote a lot about her relationship with her mother because as a teen I found that your parents really shape you through their actions and or reactions or lack of actions. In doing so I created a fabulous back story to my MC’s mother.

Argh! Do you feel my frustration? So today I wrote a 2500 Dear Diary for my character because she does not have a voice. Now as my WIP moves through, like say by chapter 8, her voice is much louder. That doesn’t work. So, I’m at it again. Starting over for the third and I have no doubt not the last time.

Honest Scrap Award!

GapYearGirl123 over at The Book Bundle awarded me with the 'Honest Scrap' Award, which is for bloggers who write from the heart. ( I think it is a very cool award.) The rules are to list 10 honest things about yourself, and pass it on to 10 other bloggers.

I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I can always find the good in everything.
I believe Karma will bite you in the butt so be kind to everyone, especially your worst enemy.
I don't like green peas. Blech.
If I don't make it to the gym at least three times a week I am extremely irritable.
I love potatoes.
Dystopia scares the crap out of me. And I always play out if and then scenarios just in case it happens in my lifetime.
I love the color pink but I don't not advertise it because I fear people might think I am weak.
Hydrangeas are the most gorgeous flower. I love painting them even though I am not very good at it.
Music is my drug of choice.

I'm breaking the rules. I don't know enough blogs personally to send 10 awards to but I enjoy the following and nominate them for their Honest Scrap:

Winged Writer - Catherine Denton

Pensive Sarcasm

Where Ladybugs Roar

Megan Rebekah Blogs....and Writes

Shooting Stars

Not that there aren't lots of other fabulous blogs on my good reads list but these are the ones I peruse the most who have not received the award already.

Thank you Gapy!

Flashy Little Bits...

...of Fiction. Here are my little gems of Flashy Fiction in the last week. If you're not using you should be.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2009
Sunday Funday

PROMPT: All of the lights went out.

MY FLASH: My nerves caused my legs to twitch. I clutched them under my arms to keep from jerking so hard.

He slowly, cooly returned. “Hi.” His smile curled, slightly on one side more than the other.

“Hey.” My voice creaked, giving way to my nerves.

“Are you ok?” The palm of his hand rested on my bare leg, setting it on fire. The electricity from his touch made me feel seventeen.

“Great,” is all I could manage because he moved his lips inches away from my ear. I could feel his warm soothing breathe on my neck and smell the sweet minty kiss of his lips.

Quietly he whispered in my ear, “Are you ready?”

All of the lights went out.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 28,2009
Saturday Slam

PROMPT: Judy Tate stepped directly in front of the flat screen, hands on hips. The steely look in her eyes betrayed the smile on her face as she stared at her offspring.

The twins sat up at attention, eyes wide, video controllers stilled.
"I see you've put up the Christmas decorations outside...." she said.

MY FLASH: Judy Tate stepped directly in front of the flat screen, hands on hips. The steely look in her eyes betrayed the smile on her face as she stared at her offspring.

The twins sat up at attention, eyes wide, video controllers stilled.
"I see you've put up the Christmas decorations outside...." she said. "Would someone mind telling me how Frosty's nose ended up on Santa's groin?"

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 2009
Sunday Post

PROMPT: I look at the beautician. "Chop it all off."

MY FLASH:  I look at the beautician. "Chop it all off."

I ran my shaky hand through the blond bits of tiny fringe I had left.

The beautician’s nose crinkled in disgust, the usual first reaction when people saw me without my scarf. She corrected her expression and thoughtfully looked at the scissors in her hand.

“You’ll probably need to use the clippers.” I told her. “Just take it all the way down to the scalp.” I gulped down the rise of tears that started to well. I held on as long as I could to my long golden locks but my scattered threads and patches of hair scared me worse than it did my children.

The beautician grabbed the clippers and with a wobbly smile began to shear away at my last strands of life. I choked on the sight of myself, long clumps falling to the abyss of the concrete floor.

The doctor told me it was time to get my affairs in order, so I decided a haircut was long overdue.

[This is dedicated to my best girl whose mother just received the same prescription from her doctor.]

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 2009
Monday Monikers

PROMPT:  "You know, they invented a word for guys like him."
Check out my buddy Diana's little bit of flash.
(To order your "Rock-hard body alert!" t-shirt please click here.)

EDIT: Just in case you are wondering who "The Bomb" is, randomly but I'll take it, it's Gw/1i! I won the Flashy Fiction random give-a-way this month. So besides flashing everyone, I got paid to do it.

You've Got the Love?

“You’ve got the love I need to see me through. When food is gone you ARE my daily need.” Lyric from “You’ve Got the Love” by Florence+ the Machine, album Lungs. (my new fav band, the whole album is all about love)

It’s words like those that writers have sprinkled together to transcend love through all time. I may be insecure about my verbs, pace or even hook but there is one thing I do have right, the passion between my main characters.

I’m not one of those people who have had a few fantastical experiences and glorify the passion in my works based in a world of limited knowledge. I have loved, lost, lusted, craved, dumped, despised and desired. If it is a term associated with love I have experienced it to the fullest.

From the highs: I have been madly crazy in love, with more than one: the electricity from a brief graze, the dizzy swirl of their scent, or the deathly longing when they are not at you side. It’s a familiarity as strong as your own soul in a world where the yearning is enough to sustain life. And when a candle burns itself at both ends… well we know what happens.

To the lows: When the light goes out what do you have? A dark lonely place. There you feel your way around until your hands identify something familiar. Something solid you can hold onto. And if you’re lucky, you scrap together the pieces around and put yourself back together. You’re never really whole. There are the empty parts, always empty parts, panging a memory from the dark, a piece of the black you just can’t let go.

For me, I dive into the files of life a pull out a single moment in time and use it for fuel to the fire. If I can’t seem to draw from time what I need I use the tool of music to call upon my muse (whoever he might have been.) Music sets the soul free and without it I’m lost.

We all have our sacred rituals for calling upon Aphrodite. What’s yours?

Or tell me your favorite pledge of love.

To be or not to be Bipolar

That is the question if it were a choice, but it’s not. No, I have not been diagnosed with the disorder but when it comes to my WIP I have conflicting mood swings. I do find it is a necessary evil of all writers. It’s the sick cycle of manic episodes that drive me crazy. You all know what I’m talking about. I recently touched on it in my “Am I normal?” post. One minute your manuscript is genius and the next, crap.

Over the week or two I have been, how do I say it, oh yes, hacking away at my manuscript. (they don't call it a work in progress for nothing) I do feel it is necessary to describe my revise/reedit/rewrite as a bloody process. A butcher and a writer have a lot more in common than you would think. (Or for you sickos, a serial killer. Mwhahaha! *wink wink Wendy girl*)

Last week I shared my first chapter with a beta reader and upon reading her comments my heart sunk. (Don’t freak Di, keep reading it gets better. XXOO’s.) Now let me say that my beta reader was the kindest sweetest with all of her comments and honest. Thank you. EVERY single comment I agreed with and felt like doinking myself in the head because I should have had a V-8. It’s hard to see the forest from the trees.

Between that and spending the whole day battling the blood sucking vampire I like to call PTA, I hit the low of lows. I wanted to trash my WIP. The whole thing just looked like 113K of nothing. I wanted to skip this story and try another. No, I wanted to stop writing altogether because obviously I am not cut out for this. It’s a bunch of jagged broken pieces at the bottom let me tell you. But my story does not end here.

I didn’t quit. I have some really amazing stories to tell so I got over myself. I put away my WIP for a few days and worked on my side baby, to give me a little distance. Then, when I felt strong enough I picked it up again and I started to rework my story. Started from chapter 1, for a third time, I think I have it right. (Now high on my WIP.) The hook is within the first 400 words and it gets to the meat really quick (see, like Butchers we are). My beta reader has reread my chapter one and gave me a big pat on the back. But then I realized by writing this new scene, new intro it threw off the next three chapters. (low again) Not a problem, I convinced myself. There are pot holes I tell you, big’ens. Like I mentioned before, I’m working on filling them and in the process I have reworked the crap out of my story. (liking the new direction, high again)

Yesterday I hit another road block, not knowing where to go with my story. (low again, see a pattern here.) For inspiration I reread a post from Nathan Bransford about “Query Letter Mad Lib” style. He said “But if you can't fill this mad lib out in two seconds and craft a pretty decent query letter, something might be wrong with your novel.” Oh god no, not something wrong with my novel, please no. But he was right. I know where I am going with my story. I know how to get there. BUT, there are a couple of forks in the road and I have delayed on deciding which one to take. Then I realized I need to pick a path and the worst case scenario I hit a dead end. If that happens then I back up and go down the other fork.

This time, instead of working on a specific chapter I decided to write a back story to my villain, since I seem to be so good at back story. (aka my first two chapters) I needed to understand why she did the things she did. I thought of Samuel L. Jackson in Unbreakable. It was the first time a villain ever made sense to me. The compelling nature of why they think they are right. In the process of figuring my own villain out I wrote 2500 words to a brilliant chapter. (High again.) Brilliant as defined through the eyes of an amateur writer mind you but I’m okay with that. So I’m here working and slaving the kinks out impatiently wanting it to be done so beta readers can get me on the path to Queryville. (No, that is not a fictitious place where all drag queens meet for coffee.)

I’m sure we all have our own bipolar emotions to our WIP or a MC. Where do your mood swings take you? And how do you find your way back?